I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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