Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize