john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize