sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
