no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We had to coat check the pizza.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
