I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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