I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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