Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
