i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
