stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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