Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
