Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
