I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
