Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
