i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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