The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
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I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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