those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
