i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
