My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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