Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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