ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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