I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
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Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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