Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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