If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
