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Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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