Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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