Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
