belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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