i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize