Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
