I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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