nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
