5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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