I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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