if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
