it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
