Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
