FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
