But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
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When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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