You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
