Sry I called you an 8
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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