She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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