i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
