Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It was like giving head to a cactus.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
