I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
MIDGETS
????
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
