Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
