I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
