dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Two words: blizzard sex
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
