Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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