so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
