Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
