So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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