youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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