$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
