Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.