Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
