Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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