its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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