It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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