When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
