idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
