Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
