I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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