He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
No subtext here. People are naked.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
