he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
