i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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