Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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