@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
