You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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