It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
